And here comes a challenge: As a healer, what and how much of yourself are you willing to commit? Is it enough just to be there for the 50 minutes or half hour that is available on your schedule, or is it your duty really to pay attention to what is and go with that flow no matter how much time it will consume? Most situations unfold in such a way as to be self-limiting. That is to say, theyll have a beginning, middle and end where what happens on the scene will play out according to a natural rhythm. But there are times when the story of whats happening in the moment is simply not about the dynamic of a person with his or her own fate. You suddenly become a pivotal character in the drama. What that tells you is theres a really strong message for you, too. Just like the intended recipient of what you have to offer, you have an obligation to stick it out until the end. Not for him, her or you, but for the experience of life. There is an exercise used in acting classes that goes like this: Students are given a small soliloquy to read, then, are asked this question: Who was saying these words? Almost to a one, students reply with a description of some sort of the character who was speaking the dialogue. The question is repeated again and again until the student, worn down, realizes that the true answer is Me! The point is you are never in someone elses experience; you are always in your own. It happens to involve specific others such as time, place, persons or circumstances, but in the final analysis, it is your own. In that regard, consider everything of which you are a part as an intersection of forces. Is there any true rule about how long any one intersection should last? Of course not. So much is determined by your personal comfort level, the smooth flow of connection, the honoring or dishonoring of your personal limits and boundaries, and the persons receptivity in combination with the demands of the moment. The absence of rules regarding how long anything takes also embraces the understanding that a healing can happen in a flash. The only challenge is to note, and honor, what is real. Its not about throwing away the clock, though it could be. Its about recognizing when youre in the middle of what could be called a sacred intersection. This is where the circumstances of the moment have come together to include you in a powerful way. You discover you're such a pivotal player in the drama, to leave would deprive both you and the other of something very important. Of course, every moment is a sacred intersection. Your role at all times is to see where you fit into the moment thats in front of you. This does not mean you must be a slave to the demands of others needs. It does imply, however, that your complete presence within the moments that you do have together as a willing participant -- will be that much more effective than if your focus is on your watch. The trick is to build continually your sensitivity to the moment so that youre not blocking out what is in order to conform to an arbitrary schedule. Its a process of becoming adept at being completely present, yet still maintaining limits and boundaries, so you can move to where you need to be or are called to next. Probably the most important thing to remember is that to a person in crisis, abrupt beginnings and endings can be quite traumatic. Your entrance and the stance you take upon first exposure can literally determine the course of the persons life for God knows how long. The way you make your exit can color the moments to follow with every person or procedure he encounters for the rest of his recovery. If you've ever had to deal with a person in trauma who has just come from an encounter with a so-called caregiver who has handled the person roughly, you know how difficult it is to get things back to a place of stability, where healing can begin. A team approach to healing involves each person making sure they can maintain the stability of each phase of the person's treatment, thereby providing fertile ground for the person to embrace an attitude that promotes their recovery. Allowing sensitivity to your role in each moment to be your standard operating procedure will not reduce the number of people in your waiting room. Nor will it increase their numbers, either. Everyone who needs to be there will be there, and you will do the work that needs to get done. The end result will be you will be able to move more smoothly into and out of the life of each person you touch by reducing the power that a ticking second hand has over both of your lives. |
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