Have you become discouraged because you are single, would like to date, but no one ever asks you out? Would you like to meet someone everytime you go somewhere? If you are single, you can develop a technique that can vastly improve your chances of successful dating. Having dates, or even finding the love of your life, requires more than just showing up somewhere. Unless you look like a movie star or a super model, you can't just stand around and wait to be "found." Consider what I call the "Singles S.P.A.C.E." Whenever you go anywhere, remember the following: S is for Scan. Wherever you are, scan the room or the crowd or the group of people. Look to see if there is anyone interesting to you. Observe if the person of interest is wearing a ring or if they are with someone. If they appear unattached, continue to the next stage, which is, P. P is for Position yourself. Get near enough to the person who looks interesting to be able to talk to them. If you have caught their attention, smile at them. A smile is the number one universal signal to another person that you are friendly, approachable, and interested in them. (Since a smile is so important, talk to your dentist about what you can do to have the best teeth/smile possible.) Once you are near the person, and they still look interesting, proceed to the next stage, which is, A. A is for Ask a question. Ask the person of interest if they have ever been there before, or if they are from that city, or how they like the ___(concert, room, play, noise, food, exhibit, etc.) Pay attention to their response. If they are remote, or obnoxious, or weird to you in any way, move on. Don't waste time focussed on what was not okay with them. Get busy looking for someone else. However, if they are friendly, and you still have some degree of interest, continue to the next step, which is, C. C is for Compliment. A compliment has the power to immediately draw someone to you. Being noticed and affirmed is a heady experience. Don't be effusive, but find something that you genuinely like about the person and remark about it. Example: "I like the jacket you are wearing. You look very nice in it." Or, "You have very pretty eyes." C can also stand for "Communicate," which is basically to listen carefully and then respond to what someone is saying. If your exchange has gone well so far and you have determined that this person is available, you may want to move into, E. E is for Exchanging contact information. Depending on how much you know about this person, you may want to use some caution about the contact information you give out. An unlisted cell phone number or an untraceable email address is usually safe, if the person is a complete stranger. But don't be afraid to say, "I enjoyed talking with you. Would you like to meet for coffee sometime and continue this conversation?" Use your single S.P.A.C.E. everytime you go out. If there aren't any singles in the group except for you, or if there is no one there of interest, then practice the technique on other strangers (people of the same sex as you, or a much older person) so you feel comfortable using it the next time you want to meet someone. The more you practice this technique, the more confidence you will have. Friendly people are very attractive! It's important to take responsibility for who you want to meet and not leave it to chance. There may be many eligible people at an event, or very few, but either way, you must make the choice of who to approach so that you get who and what you want in life. |
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