In a good relationship, we pay compliments to each other all the time. We love receiving positive feedback and try to go out of our way to let our partner know how happy we are to be with them. But verbal remarks fade so quickly. Make them last by putting them in writing where they can be revisited later to re-trigger their positive response.

There's no need to write long love letters as in the past. A scrawled phrase "Thanks so much for last weekend, it was beautiful" on a greeting card generates plenty of warm feelings in the receiver. A quick e-mail "Thursday's dinner reminded me of our first big date at ________ and I was as excited as a teenager" will be stored in a personal folder for a later re-read when spirits are low.

Sentiments expressed in writing carry more weight because we are all programmed through years of education to believe and respect the written word so much more than a verbal remark that fades in passing and is often not completely remembered.

A favorite catch phrase: "All this time and you're still the one," "All these years, and we're still having fun," or "Let's keep on trucking for a lifetime," can become a shorthand method of communication between the two of you that expresses all you mean to each other in a few short words.

Virginia Bola, PsyD

Dr. Virginia Bola is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, a vocational expert, a social commentator and a self-admitted diet fanatic. After 20 years of owning a vocational rehabilitation company, she is now Manager of Clinical Operations for a major MBHO.

She has authored numerous articles on the psychology of weight control, the emotional correlates of unemployment and job search, social issues, politics, and the graying of America.

Her latest book, completed in June, 2005,is Diet With An Attitude: A Weight Loss Workbook, an interactive manual providing the reader with personal guidance and encouragement in the battle to lose weight. It takes an irreverent approach to dieting while providing innovative and therapeutic exercises for self-exploration, confidence-building and emotional self-support.

Her earlier book, The Wolf At The Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, provides unemployed workers with therapeutic exercises, self-exploration, and confidence-building worksheets combined with specific, step-by-step techniques for finding work.

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